Guys, I consider myself a fairly confident woman when it comes to my body. As a whole, I think women have a tendency to find flaws with themselves, no matter how in shape or beautiful they are. It’s definitely ingrained in the culture that everyone wants to lose weight, even if they are already skinny or healthy. Back home, I got into the habit where as long as I was healthy, I was content. I’ve given up on trying to be “skinny” a long time ago.
But…I’m not gonna lie, Korea has shaken up my confidence a bit.
Why? Because. Nothing. F***ing. Fits. Me.
I was expecting this coming here. I knew that the vast majority of stores wouldn’t carry my clothing size nor my shoe size. I prepared by bringing plenty of these things.
But friends, every country has its own style. Those of you who have lived or traveled outside of your home country will know this. And obviously if you like that style, you want to buy the clothes. Especially when you’re living there for an extended period of time.
Korea cares a lot about appearance. It’s the same way in Italy as well. Living in both of these countries has #1. shown me that America really needs to step up its game and #2. made it so that I hate looking like a ragamuffin.
So here I am. Wanting to buy Korean clothes (and shoes) but being too big for everything. It gets frustrating real f***ing quick.
Luckily there is an H&M where (as long as they are stocked up) I can find some nice things my size. This was my go-to store back home as well so I’m happy I at least have that. Seoul has a lot more options too. Two weeks ago, when I was there for the weekend I was able to find some clothes and shoes as well (carrying all that back home on the train was a b*tch but worth it).
But a lot of the really nice, stylish stuff is what I can’t fit into. I could order clothes on line but that’s a dangerous game folks. I JUST WANT TO BE STYLISH DAMMIT.
For the past month, I’ve been really hard on myself about my weight. This is not me saying that I’m fat and this is not me looking for pity. It’s just how you start to feel when everyone around you is small and petite and nothing fits you. But I have to remember that this is a whole other country where people are smaller and that’s just the way it is (which I don’t know how because here everything carbs and sugar and HOW DO KOREANS STAY SO THIN IT’S NOT FAIR) *deep breath*. Either way, I’ve started getting serious again about exercising and watching what I eat. My coteacher and I are working together to keep each other motivated to accomplish this. I can’t shrink my feet, but maybe I can shrink my middle, even if it’s just a bit!